C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
