Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
