Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When did we convert life to cartoon?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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