you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
