He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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