he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
