I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
