drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
