You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
