yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
