my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
