I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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