you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
