I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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