Having a random hookup so left but love u
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
