Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
