she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
