So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he puts the penis in happiness.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
