pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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