is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
