fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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