Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
