Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
