Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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