Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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