Cold hands, warm shart.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
