u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you would pick up someone in the library
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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