I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So much rum. So many feels.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
