wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
