we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
