Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
