I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
