I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
