just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
