Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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