just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
