She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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