I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
