pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am available for nakedness
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
