Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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