He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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