She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
