hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
