she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
