I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
