I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
