Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
