I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
