i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
