Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
