Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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