Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
