I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
