I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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