You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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