I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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